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death note by milkyol


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Submitted on
March 27, 2008
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L
1. Take his cake and eat it in front of him
2. Make fun of the bags under his eyes (Ex: “Wow L, your eyes have more bags than a Tokyo airport!”)
3. Poke him and tell him he’s going to get fat constantly for one hour
4. Call him “Panda Puff” (inspired by MysteriousPenname's fanfic)
5. Ask “is L your real name!?” repeatedly
6. Hug/cuddle him. Extra points if you ignore him when he tells you to stop

Light
7. Say “isn’t Kira a girl’s name?” and then snicker about it
8. Make fun of his crazy Kira laugh
9. Take a potato chip… and eat it. And then crunch it in his ear.
10. Mock his speech from the Yellow Box Warehouse. At length.
11. Ask if he shops at Abercrombie and Fitch. If he says no, say “right”, and then laugh hysterically.
12. Comment at length about how the amount of hair gel he uses is endangering wildlife

Misa
13. Cling to Light and say “Wow, Raito! I’m so glad you love me and not Misa!”
14. Talk in third person, but only to her. Make this obvious.
15. Make a Takada hand puppet and talk to her with it in a squeaky voice
16. Eat some sweets in front of her and say “This sure is good! Too bad Misa can’t eat it ‘cause she’ll get fat!”
17. Slap her ass when she isn’t looking and then blame it on Light. Extra points if Light isn’t in the room

Matsuda
18. Grab a gun and yell “Hey, I’m Matsuda!” Point it at Light and pretend to shoot him. Make sure to slobber.
19. Mock his nervous laugh
20. Sing “Matsuda and Sayu sitting in a tree…” for three hours straight. Make sure both are in the room at some point
21. Ask him to get you coffee and then comment “because apparently that’s all you’re good for”
22. Make sure he’s in the room and then glance at him as you say “You know what I hate? A guy in a blue suit!”
23. Comment (in regards to episode 20) that he should have turned pink rather than gold, because gold isn’t appropriate for his level of fagginess

Aizawa
24. Every day, be sure to say to him “Mornin’ Aizawa! Boy, sex with your wife sure was good last night!” Extra points for this one if you’re a girl
25. Repeat 24, only with his daughter instead
26. Call him “Shu-chan” or any manner or cutesy nicknames and boop his nose
27. Sob about how his afro ate your mother
28. Make fun of him for the fact that his first name is the same as the main character from Gravitation (ex: “So, how was Eiri last night?”). It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t get the joke… the important thing is that  you’re annoying him

Soichiro
29. Drawl on and on about Sayu’s breasts
30. Tell him if your son was that much of a nerd, you’d kill yourself
31. Ask if he uses a ruler to cut his moustache
32. Repeat his last words in a girly voice and then pretend to die
33. Wait until he buried in paperwork, and then sit on his lap and call him “daddy”

Ryuk
34. Hide an apple somewhere on your person, and when he tries to get it yell “RAPE!”
35. Ask if he ever watched Light masturbate. No matter if he answers or ignores the question, keep asking
36. Eventually, ask him if he enjoyed watching Light masturbate
37. Pull on his monkey ears
38. Point out the fact that having blue skin is probably a sign of malnutrition
39. Restrict his apple consumption limit

Rem
40. Say “oooooh, watch out Rem! I’m gonna hurt Misa!”
41. Slobber all over his face and run
42. Bitchslap her and tell her she should be ashamed for killing L. Then pull a guilt trip on her about it
43. Sit on her head and say “Hey Rem!” over and over until she gets angry. Then say “You’re my best friend” and kiss her nose
44. Ask her, in a completely innocent tone, “So, was sex with Misa good?”

Higuchi
45. Tell him he was the worst Kira ever
46. Tell him he’s sexy, and then laugh and say “just kidding!”
47. Shred money in front of him
48. Take his car and crash it. Then tell him it was Rem, but make it obvious that it wasn’t
49. Tell him he has rooster hair

Namikawa
50. Play with his hair
51. Come into his office while he’s working and ask “whatcha doin’?” and sit on his paperwork
52. Ask him if “L” ever made any sexual advances toward him during their phone conversations
53. Watch the episode with his death scene with him, and slap him and say “Should’ve worn a seat belt!”
54. Make fun of him for the fact that his signature color is purple
55. Come in during one of the “meetings of death” and say, in a very loud voice, “Reiji Namikawa? Your stripper, Ricardo, is here”

Sayu
56. Laugh at her for having her brother help her with her homework. Extra points if you also have a sibling who helps you with yours and she KNOWS, but you do this anyway
57. Tease her about her crush on Hidekei Ryuuga (the idol, not L)
58. Help her do her math homework, but make sure to get all the answers wrong
59. Tell Misa (in front of her) that she wants to jump her bones
60. When she’s in her wheelchair, push her down a hill. Pretend it was an accident

Mello
61. Hide all of his chocolate bars, and then eat one in front of him with extreme satisfaction
62. Ask him if he keeps his gun in the front of his pants to compensate for his lack of manhood
63. Laugh at him and point, saying “ha ha, Mello’s number 2, and number 2 is poop!” (Extra points if you ask “then why isn’t your hair brown?”)
64. Whenever you see him shout “Hail Hitler!” and do the arm motion. Also feel free to make fun of his German heritage is various other ways (Ex: mock the accent)
65. Whenever he’s angry at someone, pop up and say “Ooh, Mello’s gonna ‘Keehl’ you dead!”
66. Question him about his gender. When he says he’s male, pretend to go into shock
67. Go around telling people his real name, then pretend you don’t know how Kira kills and act innocent
68. Mock him while he eats chocolate by pretending to be him eating it and making orgasm noises
69. Poke his burn and ask him if he has leprosy
70. Have sex with him, then go on at length about how much better in bed Near is
71. Call him “Princess Melly”

Matt
72. Put bologna in his X-Box
73. Replace all the batteries in his drawer with walnuts and blame it on Mello (tip: this could be used to annoy Mello as well)
74. Pee on his Gameboy. Extra points if he’s watching or if you blame it on Matsuda
75. Snap his goggles
76. Ask him if he wears gloves to hide his cherry-red nail polish
77. Stick your hand in front of the screen while he’s playing video games

Near
78. Rant about the fact that “your hair is white, so you must be old!”
79. Switch one of the pieces of a puzzle he’s working on with a piece from another puzzle, but be sure it’s one where it wouldn’t be obvious. Sit back and watch the fun
80.  Tell him you’ve come to the conclusion that he talks on the phone a lot and twirls his hair, so he must in reality be a preppy female
81. Ask him if he ever had phone sex with “L” (In this case, it would really be Light)
82. Make a sudden loud beeping noise in his ear when he’s trying to place the last block on top of a tall tower
83. Make sure to do all of these repeatedly, as this may be the only way to annoy someone as patient as Near

Watari
84. Talk very loudly to him, and when he questions you about it, say “’Cause you’re old”
85. Set him up on a blind date with L
86. Call a hearse every time he coughs or sneezes
87. Pull on his moustache
88. Try to get him put in a nursing home

Mikami
89. Sneak into his house and move everything exactly three inches to the left
90. Write “Kira sux” on his forehead while he’s asleep
91. Rub toothpaste all over his things
92. Mess with his hair… a lot
93. Try to give him a makeover. Make sure you fail miserably
94. Mess with one of his pens when he’s not looking so it gets ink all over his hands when he tries to write (or in his chest cavity)

Takada
95. Lock her in a room with Misa
96. Rub peanut butter on her microphone
97. Replace the page of the death note she hides on her person with a page from a hardcore L x Light yaoi doujinshi
98. Rub dentist-strength numbing agent on her food right before she has to go on the air. Extra points if you use enough to get her to the point where her words are completely unintelligible

All Characters
99. Force them to participate in a karaoke competition
100. Get on the news and claim to be Kira (Make sure they all know there’s no way you possibly could be)
101. Watch the anime with them and give away the ending
EDIT: There is now a sequel! --> [link] <--
Thanks for all the support and :+fav:s, guys! :heart:

MWA HA HA HA HA! For those who need it, a long list of suggestions and tips to help you annoy nearly every Death Note character... 101 ways in all! :icondeathnoteplz:

If there's a character I didn't include but you'd like to see, just let me know and I'll include it in 101 MORE Ways to Annoy DN Characters. Feel free to contribute ways of your own ^^

This is a companion piece to "101 Ways to Annoy Murdoc Niccals" ([link]) because I'm such a bastard XD
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmihealxmail:
MihealXMail Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2014  New member Student General Artist
Mello is Slovenian, and either way German or Russian I'ma still gonna mock him. XD
Reply
:iconlavenderlan:
Lavenderlan Featured By Owner Edited Aug 8, 2014
Mello isn't German , he's Russian
Reply
:iconkitskie:
kitskie Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm guessing he's probably actually Slovenian, but this is all just for fun so I figure it's no big deal, right?
Reply
:iconlavenderlan:
Lavenderlan Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2014
Yea, you're right. I just wanted to point that out and great story ^_^
Reply
:iconkitskie:
kitskie Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you c:
Reply
:iconryoutaaomine:
RyoutaAomine Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014
I FUCKIN HATE (love) YOU
ROFL!! But I'd not prank/annoy poor Grandpa Watari XDWOW 
Reply
:iconsubsanction:
Subsanction Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Number 70 is SO messed up. xD ROFL
Reply
:iconshingekinojustno:
shingekinojustno Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014
I'd gladly participate in that one, only to have him "punish" me ... If ya know what I'm saying *winkwink* c;;;
Reply
:iconsuus777:
suus777 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
wait rem is a girl???????????? what
Reply
:icongreninjastorm:
Greninjastorm Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2013
for Light, you should ask him if he's gay or call him gay because his last name spelled backwards is I'm a gay. And misa can kill you if you go near light
Reply
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